Archive for the Red Sox Category

Yankees Win!

Posted in General Sports, Red Sox on May 31, 2007 by rodriguezj20

Sarcasm- “a sneer, jest, taunt, mockery,” from sarkazein “to speak bitterly, sneer, a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.”

The Yankees have come all the way back from being swept at home by the Angels, and avoided the sweep by the Toronto Blue Jays cutting the Red Sox lead to ONLY 13.5 games! The Yankees get a much-deserved win after a monumental victory this Wednesday. In fact, it was just their first win in 6 games. And they are just in time for the “Rocket” to re-launch! I mean, if anyone can go to the mound on no days rest and win the division back is Rodger Clemens right?

In fact, in an interview after their “World Series” type win this Wednesday, it was speculated that Rodger would not make his first start of the season against the Red Sox. I mean it’s not like they paid him a record high 28 million dollars to play the team that is in first place. And come on, lets get real, it’s not like the Red Sox are some sort of rival or anything. They would never call the Yankees the “Evil Empire” or anything like that. Rodger Clemens is getting $28 million to do anything, but face the Red Sox head to head in a division game.

Yankee fans are so excited that they are speculating Rodger Clemens on Monday will start against the Sox (WHITE), and hit lead-off, clean-up, 2 hole, third, and maybe if he has it in him he might go 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th, leaving room for their OTHER 25 million dollar savior (Alex “I randomly visit strip clubs and take the blondes home” Rodriguez) to hit 9th.

“The savior is coming!” Yankee fan can now scream, as they will likely ONLY be 16.5 games back by the end of the series coming up in Fenway. But rest assure, the “Rocket” will save you Yankee fan. He will be even better than he was last season in the tough NL Central, which produced the eventual World Series Champs (shhhhhh who cares if they did it with the 2nd worst regular season record ever, the NL Central is tough!). I mean it’s not everyday you can produce against a no DH line up, and hitters such as Carlos Zambrano, Ian Snell, Ben Sheets, Jeff Suppan, and the incredible Claudio Vargas. Who needs Designated Hitters such as David Ortiz, Gary Sheffield, Jim Thome, Frank Thomas, and Travis Haffner, when you got pitchers hitting? But it’s OK, because when Rodger goes out there and avoids the Red Sox, faces KC, Tampa, Baltimore, and the Rangers, his 2.8 million dollars per win (assuming he wins 10 games) will all be worth it.

The only one happier than Yankee fan is the blonde lobby walking, purple lipstick wearing, Mr. April, arm swatting, purse caring, Alex Rodriguez, who will no longer have the highest paying contract in sports history. And why wouldn’t he be, he is in line to become the AL MVP! And don’t give me this crap that a last place team can’t have the MVP… last time I checked it was last done by some guy in the Rangers a few years back…